Word's I Couldn't Say
by Arabianmom
Summary: Maura left Jane's life five years ago never telling her the real reason why she left. Will it take Maura falling ill to bring these two back together again.
1. Chapter 1

Words I Couldn't Say

Author's Note: This is my first attempt at fanfiction. I love Rizzoli & Isles. I am going to dedicate this first story to my LLBFF sorry for the words I couldn't say RIP my love always. This story is titled after Rascal flats song Words I couldn't Say. Hope you enjoy

Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles just writing a story about them no copyright infringement intended. Don't own Rascal Flatts song either.

**In a book, in a box, in the closet**

**In a line, in a song I once heard**

**In a moment on a front porch late one June**

**In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon**

**Chapter 1: The Call**

Jane: Jane was sitting at her desk trying to complete the last of her paperwork which she hated to do when her phone rang. She looks at the phone. "Dammit Frost I'll call you back I need to get out of here" Jane said as she went back to her paperwork.

The phone rings again and she finally picks up

Jane: "What is it Frost you know some of us are going on vacation I would like to get out of here in the next hour." What's up?"

Frost: "Hey Jane sorry to bother you but can you stay around for a bit I got a lead I want to follow up on. "Exclaimed Frost

Jane: "Yeah Frost I'll hang for a bit but I really just want to get out of here and get a beer and watch some TV"

Jane hung up feeling like this day would never end. With not too many people in the precinct that day her mind began to wonders back ten years ago when she was happy the day she meet Dr. Maura Isles.

_10 years ago_

"_Hey Korsak when is this new ME going to get here. I am freezing my butt off here. Jane said as she looked disgusted for the ME having then wait._

_Just as a new Black Mercedes drove up Jane turned just in time to see a very beautiful blonde who looked like she was a fashion model step out of the Mercedes. "Hey Janie looks like the new M.E. just arrived" Korsak said with a huge smile on his face. ' Allow me to introduce you to her Janie"" Dr. Maura Isles this is Detective Jane Rizzoli" "Nice to meet you detective I'm sure we will be working together quite a bit" she said with a warm smile. Jane extended her hand surprised that the M.E. hands were so soft. Jane thought to herself that she was so glad that the new M.E. was a woman. She was so tiered of being the only woman in the homicide department. Jane smiled knowing they would have a good working relationship._

Frost: "Jane …. Jane….. Hey Jane can you hear me"

Frost was concerned by the look on the detectives face. Jane finally answered Frost.

Jane: "Oh hey Frost I didn't hear you come in. Did the lead work out?"

Finally coming out of deep thought Jane got up to get closer to Frost and she what leads he had come up with when her phone rang. "Hold on a sec Frost let me see who this is' she huffed.

Jane: "Rizzoli"

Mrs. Isles: "Detective Rizzoli this is Constance Isles, Maura's Mother" as Jane's mouth flew open very surprised by her call. "Detective I know you are surprised by my call but I could not think of anyone else to call. I know how close you and Maura were and how sad she was when she moved back to New York. Listen I am not one for many words but Maura needs you now like she has never needed you before. I have made arrangements for the jet to pick up this afternoon. I know you are going on vacation and you have the time to take off. I need….. Maura needs you now please!" Constance said in a pleading voice she has never been one to beg but in this instance she felt she had no choice.

Jane could sense the urgency in Mrs. Isle's voice and had a strange feeling that this was not going to be an easy trip.

Jane: "Mrs. Isles I have not seen or talked to Maura in five years what makes you think she even wants to see me.

Mrs. Isles: Jane I don't know what happed between the two of you however none the less she needs you will you please come and I'll explain it all to you when you get here."

Jane: Ok Mrs. Isles I'll come but I really want to know what this is about.

Mrs. Isles: I promise as soon as you get here we will talk dear. The jet will be there at 6:00 p.m. please be ready.

Jane hung up and paced the floor for what seem like hours before she snapped out of it and rushed out of the precinct. Jane knew that her gut feeling had to have been right. Jane had been thinking of Maura everyday for the better part of a year. Maura was her first thought and last though on her mind before she went to bed and she knew that there had to be a reason that Maura was on the forefront of her mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**There it was at the tips of my fingers**

**There it was on the tip of my tongue**

**There you were and I had never been that far**

**There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms  
And I let it all slip away**

Again I don't own Rizzoli & Isles or this song

Chapter 2- The Talk

\

After leaving the BPD Jane went straight home so she could pack and be ready when the Isles jet came for her. Jane could only think that there must be something seriously wrong with Maura for Mrs. Isles to call her. In fact she did not even think Mrs. Isles liked Maura hanging around with her because they were not from the same social class. Now she knows otherwise and could not stop thinking of Maura all day. Jane put her key in the door to discover Angela Rizzoli sitting on her couch.

Jane: What the hell Ma you scared me. What are you doing here?

Angela Rizzoli: Janie is that anyway to talk to your Mother? I am here to help you pack. Now get your butt in gear you need to shower change and I'll start getting things together for you.

Jane: Ma, how do you know that I am going anywhere?

Angela Rizzoli: Well….. Janie please sit down for a little bit ok. Sit right next to me there is something I need to tell you before you go ok.

Jane: Ok Ma

Angela Rizzoli: Jane I need you to know that Constance and I have been talking over these past five years that you and Maura have not been talking. In fact Constance has become one of my closest friends.

Jane: Ma what the hell you and Constance Isles friends? All this time you have been in contact with her why?

Angela Rizzoli: Jane honey just calms down and let me explain. Janie you know when you first where born and got a little older I used to watch you all the time. You always been so tough Janie kept up the thick skin never let anyone in. I said to myself dear lord this child will suffer. This child will suffer so much in her life and there is nothing I can do but be a mother and be there for her when she falls. Angela takes in a deep breathe and continues. Janie when you meet Maura I saw something in you that I have never seen in you and that was happiness and hope. I saw how you two had so much fun together and how you both hated when the other one was mad at them. I saw how you made a point not to stay mad with her. You let her touch your hands Janie. You never let me touch your hands anymore.

Jane: I'm sorry Ma it's just I didn't want you to feel sorry for me or I don't know….

Angela Rizzoli: when I saw Maura touch your hands and you said nothing and did not get mad I knew that you loved her. I knew from the way you tried to be careful on the job. I knew when you shot yourself to protect her and Frankie. I knew the way the two of you looked at each other. Janie a Mother knows. Even Constance saw it the few times she visited Boston. We both knew when Maura left that something was wrong for her the leave the way she did. We also knew her leaving was going to destroy the both of you. Janie I ask you why you never told me you were in love with Maura or why you never told her.

Jane: Ma it's complicated I mean Ma really our family is so Catholic and for GOD sakes we are Italians too. Can you imagine what people would say about me? What they already say about me. I never felt this way about anyone much less another woman. It scared the Hell out of me. If I told Maura there would have been no way that she would have hid our relationship. Heck Ma she never told me how she felt either.

_Jane thinks back to the last night she and Maura spent the night together._

_Jane: Hey Maur wake up sweetie it's late lets go to bed._

_Maura: Oh sorry Jane I fell asleep during the documentary I never do that._

_Jane: Maur why do you apologies so much. I mean really I fall asleep on you like all the time. _

_Jane and Maura both laugh. Jane grabs Maura's hand and leads them into the bedroom._

_Jane: You want to shower before you go to bed or what._

_Maura: Oh yes sure that would be great, but I didn't bring anything to sleep in. she says with a pout._

_Jane: Well you know you always leave something here. Here are your wonderfully expensive pajamas._

_Maura: Janie are you making fun of me?_

_Jane: Oh never with a smirk on her face._

_When Maura returns to the bed Jane is reading and watching the last of the news._

_Jane: Hey don't you look clean._

_Maura: Generally that's what happens Jane when you take a shower. As she smiled_

_Jane: Lights out?_

_Maura: Oh Jane I ah I ah I need to tell you something but I don't know how to tell you._

_Jane gets nervous and starts to pace the room. She knows that it is something serious that Maura wants to talk about. She even thinks she might know what it is but she is too scared to hear it so like she always does she avoids the conversation._

_Maura: It's ok Jane we can talk later it's not important really. Goodnight Jane. I love you don't forget it._

_Jane: Goodnight Maur I'll never forget._

_In the back of Jane's mind she wished that she could have said I Love You I'm in love with you._

Jane comes back to reality when she hears Angela calling her name.

Angela Rizzoli: Janie where did you go. You spaced out there for a minute. Thinking about Maura huh?

Jane: yeah Ma I can't stop thinking about her you know. Even though she has been gone and no contact with her I still think about her.

Angela Rizzoli: That's because you love her Janie and it's ok to love her ok. I don't know what is going on with her at this point that Constance insists on you coming and believe me I have tried to get her to tell me but she won't and that scares me Jane.

Angela looks at Jane to see tears now falling freely from her eyes as she begins to sob like Angela has never seen and she grabs her and holds her like she used to try to do when she was a kid.

Angela Rizzoli: Shhh Shhh baby it's ok let it out baby. You have suppressed this for ten years now let it out you will feel so much better. Janie please look at me ok. Janie when you get to New York you make sure you don't leave without telling Maura how you feel. Don't let another ten years go by. Many people don't get a second chance Janie but this might be yours. Now let's get you packed.

**Hey guys thanks for the reviews. This story is a bit hard to write for me it's very emotional for me. After losing my LLBFF over the summer it was really hard. Listening to Rascal Flatts song words I couldn't say really made me look at things I wish I had said. Before we hung up at night we always told each other I love you don't forget it. I regret that we never told each other how we felt and let fear of what family and others would say and we missed out on each other. Always tell the people you love how you feel sometimes that second chance does not happen. Love reviews so keep them coming.**


	3. Chapter 3

**What do I do now that you're gone ****  
****no back up plan no second chance ****  
****and no one else to blame ****  
****all I can hear in the silence that remains ****  
****are the words I couldn't say**

**Chapter 3**

**Constance Isles**

**Disclaimer: Again don't own Rizzoli & Isles. Just love to write. Hope everyone likes the story so far plenty more story to come. Again hard story to write but it's helping me heal. **

Angela drove Jane to the airport. The car ride was in complete silence. Jane laid back in the seat lost in her thoughts. Her thoughts only of Maura that she could no longer continue to hold back the flood gates that so desperately were about to break. She wanted to be strong like she always is but when it came to Maura no matter how she tried her softer side was always there that Maura could only bring out of the box inside her heart. Jane thinks back to after she killed Hoyt.

_Jane: I'm so glad this party is over with. I don't think I could stand looking at those damn ponies anymore._

_Maura: Jane you know Angela was just trying to make you happy. It's your birthday; I suppose that everyone wants to feel special on his or her birthday. You are so lucky Jane I never had a party like this. Mother and Father always left me money and don't recall them ever being home when it was my birthday. _

_Jane could see the sadness on her friends face. It always broke her heart to see Maura cry or be sad. Jane made up her mind that she would make sure that Maura had the party to make up for all the years she never felt love._

_Jane: Hey don't look so sad sweetie all you had to do was say you didn't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone either. Let's just go to bed and try to forget about this day._

_Maura: Ok Jane but we need to clean things up first._

_Jane: No, we don't come on. Jane intertwines their hands and leads Maura to her room._

_Maura: Jane?_

_Jane: Yes Maura_

_Maura: Jane I… I... have never been so scared in my life ever. I depend on my scientist mind but today was fear that controlled me I don't like it. I almost lost you again. Maura starts to weep and Jane holds her for dear life wishing to never let her go. Wishing she had never let Maura go with her._

_Jane: It's ok Maura I have never been so scared either. What if he had done what he did to the others? I don't even want to think about it so let's just go to sleep ok._

_Maura: Jane I love you don't forget it._

_Jane: I'll never forget Maura ever._

Jane wakes up to find that they are almost at the airport. Angela turns and looks at her with a smile.

Angela Rizzoli: Janie, you ok baby we are almost here. Traffic was awful as usual. You sleep all the way but you needed to.

Jane: Sorry Ma that I wasn't much company.

Angela Rizzoli: It's ok Janie you needed to sleep.

They pull up to the airport. Angela stops the car and reaches over to Jane and lifts her face up.

Angela Rizzoli: Jane I love you. I love you more than you may ever know. I am sorry life has been so hard on you. As I said you have always been so strong and never letting your guard down. Now it's time to let that guard down and let Maura know how you really feel. Let her know how much you really love her. .

Angela kisses her before she gets out. Jane reaches over and hugs her tightly. Laying her head on her mother's shoulder nodding her head in fear that if she spoke the flood of tears would yet again begin to fall.

Jane arrives in the airport wondering where she needs to board only to see a familiar face in the crowd as if waiting Constance Isles.

Jane: Mrs. Isles?

Constance Isles: Jane please just call me Constance don't you think we are way pass formal names now Jane.

Jane: Yes I suppose we are Constance. Can you please tell me what's going on? I have all these thoughts going on in my head and I don't like this feeling I have.

Constance Isles: Jane let's get on the plane first and get settled then I will tell you everything ok dear.

Jane: OK

Jane and Mrs. Isle's board the plane. Mrs. Isles tells Jane where everything is and gets settled in their seats. Constance Isles is so nervous which is very unlike her but the thought of what she needs to tell Jane makes her heart skip a beat knowing how Jane will react.

Constance Isles: Jane I need your full attention dear there is really no easy way to say this no excuse me if I seem a bit blunt but Maura is dying Jane.

Jane: What What no that... That… can't be. Unable to stop the tears from falling her body shakes as she sobs falling to her knees.

Constance Isles: Jane dear please I'm sorry so sorry. Please listen to me. I spoke with her Doctor on the way here and he wants to try a new treatment on her. It might be the only hope she has Jane. We need you to sign some papers he is faxing them now.

Jane: Why….. Why do I need to sign papers?

Constance Isles: Jane you are Maura's power of attorney and it is your name on her advance directive. I discovered this when she got sick. I didn't know until now.

Jane: Through tears she says I knew that but I just thought after all this time she would have changed it by now. Years ago when I kept getting injured I put her as mine too because I know she would do the right thing.

Constance Isles: Jane I want to prepare you for the worst in case this does not work. I know that just by you being there is going to make a difference Jane. Jane you have to tell her how you feel. It's now or never dear. Jane she is very weak and pale. The doctors have her in a medically induced coma right now so they can give her the best care without her trying to fight them. They have her on a ventilator as well to breathe for her. Jane are you listening to me?

Jane: Yes I am listening but I can't get this to resonate in my mind. I might lose her after all this time and never get to tell her how I feel. I don't think I can do this I'm not that strong Constance I'm not.

Constance Isles: Constance gets up and shows Jane the affection that she should have always showed to Maura and hugged her and stroked her hair whispering to her Jane just pray just pray like you never prayed before. Jane I love you because you always loved my daughter and protective her and made her feel safe. I know this is hard but she will make she has too.

**Guys again I love the reviews so keep them coming. **


	4. Chapter 4

**There's a rain that'll never stop falling  
There's a wall that I've tried to take down  
What I should've said just wouldn't pass my lips  
So I held back and now we've come to this**

**Words I couldn't Say: Chapter 4**

**Thinking Back**

**Disclaimer: Again don't own Rizzoli & Isles. Just love to write. Hope everyone likes the story so far plenty more story to come. Again hard story to write but it's helping me heal. **

Jane goes to the restroom to wash her face before the plane takes off. Looking in the mirror she sees all the years that have gone by that she refused to let tears flow and allow the hurt to come through and maybe even to heal. She always wondered how Maura was doing even after all this time. She was far to stubborn to pick up the phone and call her to try to make amends. Jane remembers the last time she saw Maura and what Maura said to her before she left for New York.

Jane thinks back.

_Jane: Maura why are you leaving? Can we at least talk about this you just up and decide one day you are moving to New York and you tell me the day that you are leaving what the hell._

_Maura: __.__ Jane! Jane I really wish I could tell you why I am leaving but I simply just can't I can't do this anymore OK you just have to understand. There is nothing more to talk about I have tried and now I am just tired._

_Jane: Tiered of what Maura? Me? Why can't you talk to me?_

_Maura starts to get angry and sad at the same times and for the first time she raises her voice at Jane._

_Maura: JANE I believe I have tried talking to you. I mean to say you are a detective you just don't even have a clue no clue at all what I have always needed to tell you. You won't listen and when I start to talk you want to change the subject. You do like you always do you run._

_Jane: Maura please don't leave. What will I do without you? You're my best friend I can't lose you._

_Maura: Then give me a reason to stay Jane._

_Jane: Maura I… I..._

_Maura: Goodbye Jane_

_Maura hugs Jane and whispers in her ear "Jane I love you don't forget it". Maura walks away and does not look behind her knowing if she did her heart would break into a thousand pieces_

Jane comes back to the present and washes her face and tries to get her emotions together and walks back out as the plane gets ready to take off. Constance looks up to see Jane sit down next to her. She gives her a weak smile and sits down.

Constance Isles: Jane dear you look pale let's order something to eat. You will feel better if you eat. Angela said you had lost weight but dear you have to eat so you can be strong for Maura. What would you like?

Jane: Thank you Constance but I really don't think I could eat. All of this has just got me shock. I just want to get there and see Maura for myself.

Constance Isles: Ok then perhaps a beer then. Maura always said you liked beer.

Jane: Constance after Maura left I stopped drinking.

Constance Isles: I see I am sure that was hard being than you see such horrible things done to human's every day. I am sure a drink was a nice release after a long day.

Jane: Yes Ma'am it was but I could not bring myself to go anywhere Maura and I went together it just hurt to bad for me. I realized how much she meant to me when she left but I was too pigheaded to just pick up the phone and call her or jump on a plane and finally tell her what I should have told her years ago. I just kept it all hidden in my heart. You I have heard people say that their heart hurts and I always thought that's a crazy thing to say there is no way your heart can hurt. I found out just how true it was because my heart physically hurts it aches for her if just to see her or talk to her again I think it would ease my pain.

Constance Isles: Jane, what did you do all those years without Maura?

Jane: I was very broken and angry even. I closed everyone out in my life. I went to work and came home and that's it.

Constance Isles: Did you date Jane?

Jane: No Ma'am, I couldn't because I knew I would just compare the person to Maura and I just could not see myself with anyone else. You know Ma can be a bit overbearing but she is the one who forced me to get up every day. She did not push me to talk about but I suppose a Mother just knows when to ask questions and when not too.

Constance Isles: Yes dear I know I have finally learned that after all these years. As I said Maura and I are very close now and the thought of losing her kills me. You know Maura never had many friends in school and I suppose it did not help that her Father and I were not around either. I did not realize how much she needed us when she was young that she got shipped off to boarding schools and off to College at a young age she was not ready for that. It was hard to know what a child genius needed. You know Jane she has never asked us for anything ever. It was not until before she was put in the coma that she asked for something for the first time.

Jane: What did she ask for?

Constance Isles: She asked for you Jane. She asked for you. Jane she has never stopped loving you. Maura lost herself in her work and the family business I think so she would not think. Lots of times I knew when she had been crying but she would never bring herself to let me see her tears. Thank you Jane!

Jane: For what?

Constance Isles: As the young people say calling me on my bullshit. If it were not for you pointing out how I treated Maura I don't think we would have ever gotten this close. You there was this song that she listened too on her iPod all the time and I never knew the real significance to it until she talked about you. One day I think it was just too much for her and that she had held it in so long she had to tell me. Jane it was eating her alive it really was. Jane how did you know that you were in love with my daughter?

Jane: I knew because my Ma always said when I found my soul mate I would know because I would be able to see myself in the other person's eyes. When I meet Maura I finally saw my true self in her eyes.

_6 Months ago Maura's Condo in New York_

_Maura's doorbell rings but she does not hear if lost in her thoughts and tears. She does not notice until her Mother enters the room that she did not hear the doorbell ring._

_Maura: Mother what are you doing here I thought you were in London?_

_Constance Isles: yes, I was but something was telling me that you needed me. Maura what's wrong. I have not seen you happy since you moved back and I did not want to pressure you to talk about it but it has gone too far dear. It's not natural for someone as bright as yourself to just work and come home never interacting with anyone. Every time I come over that song is playing. Care to talk about it dear it might help?_

_Maura: Mother I am in love with Jane._

_Constance Isles: Oh Oh Ok when did this happen Maura and is there a problem with that Maura._

_Maura: Mother you know very well how much of a focus you and Father put on image and I just did not think either of you would except me dating a Woman._

_Constance Isles: Maura is that what you really think of us. I mean look how close we have gotten since you moved back from Boston. Why in all these years did you not tell me? I would have understood dear. All that really matters is that you are happy and the person you are with treats you well. I know Jane would have done so. Maura is that why you left Boston? I know you will tell the truth because you can't lie._

_Maura: Yes, Mother I could not bear to stay there and know that nothing could ever be between us. I really have tried to get her out of my mind but I can't it always just comes back to her it's always been her. _

_Maura begins to sob finally feeling relief after pouring her heart out to her Mother the one person she thought would never understand her for the first time in 35 year understood._

Reality

Constance Isles: Jane, Jane dear wake up we have just landed. We are in New York Maura needs you to be strong now.


	5. Chapter 5

**What do I do now that your gone  
No back up plan no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say**

Author's Note: In this chapter I am going to focus on Jane getting to say all those words that she would not let pass her lips the words she couldn't say. Many people believe that those in a coma can still hear. I remember talking with my LLBFF sister and telling her what we would say to each other I love you don't forget it she would say and I would tell her I never forget. After her sister talked to her and told her what I had said she died. Again I'll say always tell the people you love how much you love them never let things go unspoken or make assumptions. You can't help who you love.

**Chapter 5: Jane pours her heart out.**

Jane and Mrs. Isles finally arrived in New York. Jane was a bit overwhelmed by the limo picking them up at the airport but she tried not to be bothered about it. All Jane cared about right now was getting to Maura and making sure she would be Ok. She could not stop her mind from going in circles even if she willed herself to. Jane was lost in her thoughts until the limo came to a stop. Jane looked up to see they were not at the hospital but in front of a huge set of luxury condos.

Jane: Constance where are we I thought we were going to the hospital first.

Constance Isles: Oh dear I'm sorry but I just thought you would want to get relaxed and perhaps shower before we head to the hospital. You do look tired and Maura does not need you worn out.

Jane: I know Constance maybe I will take a quick shower when I get to the hotel.

Constance Isles: Jane whatever do you mean a hotel. You will stay right here at Maura's of course.

Jane: I can't stay here. I mean Maura is not here not to mention how long it's been.

Constance Isles: Look Jane there is no need to stay in a hotel I insist that you stay here Maura would expect that you did. Now with that settled let's go up and you take care of what you need to while I call Dr. Smothers and check on Maura.

Jane and Mrs. Isles go into Maura's place. Jane is surprised at how simple Maura's place was nothing like her house in Boston. Although everything was in order Jane could feel Maura's sadness when she walked through the door. Knowing that Maura's had been just as miserable as she was broke Jane heart even more.

Jane: Constance may I ask you a question?

Constance Isles: Yes dear what is it?

Jane: Was Maura ever happy once she moved back here?

Constance Isles: No Jane No she was never happy here. I tried really to do all I could to make her happy. Not even her work to make her feel better. Then when she got sick all I could think of was that I wish I had called you sooner. I…I love her so much I just pray we have more time.

Jane reached out to Mrs. Isles and hugged her and allowed herself to cry as well. Jane and Mrs. Isles comforted each other. Releasing themselves from the embrace Mrs. Isle's phone rang.

Constance Isles: Hello

Jane listens to her conversation knowing that it must be news about Maura from the look on her face. Jane was nervous to find out what was going on and even more anxious to get to the hospital. While Constance is on the phone Jane takes the time to look around Maura's place and notices the picture on the mantle of she and Maura taken when Jane took Maura to her first Red Sox's game. A flood of memories come back to that day.

_Jane: Maura you know we are going to a baseball game right? I mean its going to be hot and a lot of people drinking and swearing are you sure you want to wear that?_

_Maura: Jane what's the matter with my outfit. I think it looks great on me. Maura says with a smile._

_Jane: Oh I... I mean you do look good in it but I think you need to wear some jeans or something OK please for me._

_Maura: Ok Janie since you don't want me to wear this you go pick out something for me then._

_Jane: Oh I feel honored but I already did pick something out here. Jane handed Maura a box._

_Maura: Oh Jane I love presents what is it._

_Jane: Just open it Maur you will see._

_Maura: Oh Jane a Red Sox baseball jersey, cap and Levis jeans. I never owned Levi's before. How did you know my size?_

_Jane: Jane stutters Oh I have my ways course I would know your size. Just go put them on and put your hair in a ponytail too Oh plus we practically live at each others houses. _

_Maura comes out dressed in Jane's outfit she brought her with a big smile on her face._

_Jane: Now you look like you are ready to go to a ball game. Jane grabs her hand and pulls her out the door_

Jane pops back into reality after realizing that Constance was now off of the phone. Constance turns around to face Jane and Jane notices the tears that are running down her face. She goes to Constance to find out what the doctor said.

Jane: Constance what is it? What did the Doctor say?

Constance Isles: He said that he had done all he could do and it was now up to Maura to fight the infection. They have given her the medicine but it is all left up to her. Dr. Smothers has always been very straight forward with me Jane. I think we should get to the hospital now.

Jane and Constance left to go to the hospital. The short ride to the hospital was in silence both women lost in their own thoughts. Constance praying that Maura will make it through and Jane praying the same hoping that these flood of tears could be stopped. However when it came to Maura she was the only one that could ever break her resolve and cut through the walls Jane always put up to protect herself. They arrive at the hospital both women get out and headed straight to Maura's room.

Constance Isles: Jane let me introduce you to Maura's Doctor since you will probably be seeing him quite a bit and he will be asking you to make the medical decisions for Maura now. Dr. Smothers this is Detective Jane Rizzoli the women I told you about.

Dr. Smothers: Hello Detective nice to meet you. Wish it was under better circumstances.

Jane: Thank you. Can you tell me more about Maura's condition and what I need to expect here.

Dr. Smothers: Of course Detective Maura has a very rare virus that is attaching itself to her vital organs. It starts out as a simple stomach virus but can expect to much more if not treated properly. Constance did tell me that Maura had been laying around for the past couple of weeks and thought she just had stomach flu until Constance went over to her house a few days ago after not being able to reach her. Constance is the one who found her on the floor. Her vital organs have been shutting down as if the body is giving up. We are pumping her with meds and antibiotics to prevent any other damage. The next 24 to 48 hours are going to be critical as we are slowly going to bring her out of the coma within the next few days. May I suggest that you spend time talking to her and let her know you are here. Jane, before we had to put her in the coma she was calling for you.

Those words hit Jane like a brick. She only wished that she had been there for Maura. She knew now that there was no place else she wanted to be and that she was never leaving Maura to suffer like this for as long as she lived. Jane began to pray before she entered Maura's room silently praying that she could remain strong and be who Maura needed her to be so many years ago.

**Remember I love getting reviews to see how I'm doing.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Are the words I couldn't say  
I should have found a way  
To tell you how I felt  
Now the only one I'm tellin' is myself**

**Disclaimer: again I don't own Rizzoli and Isles. Thanks to the talents of Tess Gerritsen and **_**Janet Tamaro**_

_**Chapter 6: Jane's Heart**_

_Author's Note: This chapter is going to be all about Jane and all the feeling that come crashing down when she sees Maura for the first time in ten years. Jane will finally get to pour her heart out. We will get to see Jane in a different light. I have read a lot of stories and they always seem to make Jane so tough and hard so I am going to get to the heart of Jane here hop you enjoy. Keep the reviews coming please._

_Jane stands outside of the door to Maura's hospital room. She can feel and hear her heartbeat as if it were going to burst from her chest. It takes her a few minutes before she can get enough momentum to put her hand on the door to open it, It was not that she did not want to go in but she feared that she could no longer hold her emotions once she walked in. She remembers what a friend told her in the back of her mind. "Ok, Jane it's now or never" Jane puts her hand on the door turns the knob and goes in. As she walks in she notices all the sounds of the machines that are keeping Maura alive and all of a sudden the noises in her ears stop and she can only see Maura's angelic face as the tears began to flow Jane has no one this time to comfort her. She sits in the chair next to the bed and she tries to calm herself down and remember what the doctor told her about talking to Maura._

_Jane grabs Maura's hand and looks at how pale but beautiful she still looks. That even after five years she has not changed very much except she noticed that she was very thin. Maura was a lot smaller now that she was all those years ago. Jane closes her eyes and takes in a breathe she was holding and begins to talk to Maura as if she can hear her._

_Maura…. It's me Jane I came just as soon as I got the call from your mother that you were sick. At first I was in shock to hear from her and even more in shock that she and my Ma are BFF's can you believe that Maura? I mean who would have known that those two could ever be friends. Then again look at us how we became friends we are total opposites. Ok Ok I know if you are listening you are saying that I am rambling to keep from saying what I really want to say and you are right of course you are. Maura I am sorry, I am so sorry that it took all these years for me to come to you. I sorry it took you getting sick for me to stop being so stubborn and come to you. Maura I should have never let you get on that plane to New York. I should have never let you leave Boston it was my fault. I understand now why you could not stay and hope you can understand and forgive me for not begging you to stay. Maura all those years ago that we met I will never forget the day I met you my life changed that day. Even though I always had family around I never really had a close girlfriend most of my friends were guys. So when you came I didn't feel like I was so different anymore. Over the years and all the things we have been through together I should have known when things began to change. Maura I Love You and I think I always have I just didn't know how to tell you how I felt. I mean I have never thought of another woman in that way so it was strange to me. To say I am a detective the signs where all there coming from you. Everyone could see it except for us. My Ma always told me that I would know when I found my soul mate because I would be able to look in that person's eye's and see myself. Maura when we became friends that's how I felt I saw myself in your eyes the first time ever I really looked in your eyes. You see you are the only one that can have me talking and crying at the same time. Maura I'm a mess I have been a mess for the last five years of my life without you. Everyday I thought of you Maura I wanted to pick up the phone and call you but fear stopped me. I don't want to live with the fear of losing you again. Maura I am going to stay here until you get better no matter how long it takes OK. I want to be here I want to keep you safe and protect you from everything. Most of all Maura I want to tell you everyday how much I love you how much you mean to me if you give me a chance too. Please be OK Maura you have too._

_Jane's emotions gets the best of her as she sobs uncontrollably and finally when the sobs stop she is able to relax and let the last couple of days of emotions relax her as she falls asleep holding Maura's hand laying her head down on the bed. Maura although still in the coma she could hear everything that Jane said and the only way she could respond in by tears that escaped her eyes._

_Constance steps in the room quietly so not to wake Jane. She kisses Maura on the forehead and sees the tears running down her face. At that moment Constance knew that Maura was still here and that she would make it. She looked over at Jane to see she too had been crying. She wanted to go to her and hug her but not wanting to wake her she just kissed her forehead too and left the room._

_Hope you all enjoy just wanted to get this chapter out let Jane finally say what she didn't say all those years ago. I think it is time to bring Maura back in the picture. What do you guys think? _


	7. Chapter 7

**Word's I Couldn't Say**

**Chapter 7**

**Maura**

**Are the words I couldn't say  
I should have found a way to tell you how I felt  
Now the only one I'm tellin' is myself**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli & Isles nor do I own the lyrics to Words I couldn't Say they are by Rascal Flatts.**

**Author's Note: Sorry guys for the long delay I know I need to get back to writing but holidays have kept me busy. As always I love getting reviews. I'll try to answer more of the reviews thanks again. How about that finale wow is all I can say.**

It had been almost two weeks since Jane arrived in New York for the last two weeks Jane has sat beside of Maura hoping and praying that the treatment would work and she would once again wake up and be better again. The only time Jane left the hospital room was to go to the restroom and at night she would go to Maura's and sleep. Constance would come every night just like clockwork and relieve Jane. They would talk about the progress Maura was making and how much they both looked forward to the day that the Doctor would say that test results looked good and they could start taking her out of the coma. Today was the day Constance called Jane and told her the good news that the doctor thought it was time to wake Maura up and see what how she is after the treatment has had it's time to work in her system. Jane was happy and nervous at the same time knowing that at some point Maura would wake up and they for sure would need to talk about the last ten years. Jane just wanted her to be OK and she knew if she was that somehow they could both forgive themselves for not being in each others lives for the pass five years. Jane arrives at the hospital and enters Maura's room.

Constance: Jane dear how are you? Did you sleep well?

Jane: Yes, I did but I am glad they are going to take Maura out of the coma. What did the doctor say we should expect?

Constance: Well he said that they are stopping the medicine that has kept her in the coma and they also removed the breathing machine. He says that she is breathing perfectly on her own but he decided for the next few hours to keep her on a low does of the oxygen just to make sure.

Jane: That's good right?

Constance: Yes, dear it is. Have you had anything to eat Jane the food is quite good in the café in the hospital. I suppose having the entire café named after my family I make sure that the food is not bland just because one is in the hospital does not means that the food has to taste like paper.

Jane: Constance I did not know you had such a funny sense of humor

Constance: Well you know dear if it had not been for you I am not sure that Maura and I would have the relationship that we have now thanks to you. Know lets go grab a bite to eat shall we.

Jane and Constance go down to the café for lunch. An hour later Maura is finally starting to wake up a little at a time. Totally unaware that the person she loves the most is just a few minutes away from her.

In the Café

Constance: Jane?

Jane: Yes

Constance: You seem to be deep in thought there. You need to eat you look like you have lost a few pounds since you have been here. You don't want Angela to think I was not taking care of you do you she laughs.

Jane: I know I do just not to hungry just kind of nervous knowing that Maura may wake up soon and what I am going to tell her after all these years.

Constance: Jane just tell her how you feel and all will be OK.

Code Blue room 209 Code Blue Room 209

Jane and Constance both look at each and know it is Maura's room that they are calling a code blue for. They both forget about the food they were eating and they run back to the elevator to get back to her room.

When they reached the room they find nurses and doctors running into Maura's room with the crash cart. Jane slips down to the floor and sobs knowing that a code blue being called is never good. After what seemed like hours the doctor finally came out of the room to talk to them.

Dr. Smothers: Jane, Constance I am sorry but it took us a bit to get Maura settled down. Apparently she woke up from the coma and was not aware where she was and got scared and began to _hyperventilate. When we got to her she was hardly breathing and turning blue from the lack of oxygen. We were able to get her stable and I have turned the oxygen up for a while. If it would not be any trouble can you make sure one of you is here for the next few hours and hopefully when she wakes this time she will know she is not alone?_

_Jane: Oh, I am not going anywhere after this. Constance you can go home you have been here all night and half of the day. Please go and get some good rest and I'll call you if I need you OK?_

_Constance: Oh no Jane I am saying right here I have a change of clothes and somewhere to shower. We will stay together and keep each other company until Maura wakes again._

_Dr. Smothers: I gave her something to settle her down. It should not last a long time though. Constance please call if you need me I will be here for the remainder of the day._

_Constance and Jane are finally able to go into Maura's room they each take a chair next to either side of the bed. In the room neither one of them say much, just silently praying that this was not a setback for Maura. After a while Constance decided to go and have her shower and change clothes._

_Constance: Jane she seems to be doing OK so I am going to shower and change I will be back in a while and she leans forward to kiss Maura and Jane both on the forehead._

_Jane took hold of Maura's hand and laid her head down on the bed and closed her eyes. She was thinking just to rest her eyes not realizing that she was in fact still very tired. Jane closed her eyes and went to sleep with the thought that once again she almost lost Maura._

_A few hours later Jane woke up to find that Constance had returned and she was sleeping in the other bed chair. Jane was about to get up to stretch and splash some water in her face when she felt a small hand began to squeeze her hand. Looking down she realized that Maura was trying to wake up. Jane began to stroke Maura's face and hair and finally Jane looked into the eyes she has been waiting to see for the last five years Maura's. Jane can see the tears falling from Maura's eyes and her once again beginning to hyperventilate. This time Jane decided that it is better to talk to her like she used to do when Maura would have a panic attack._

_Jane: Maura look at me OK and focus on my voice remember how we used to do Ok. Look at me and just breathe Ok. See you are doing so good just relax OK. Don't try to talk yet let me get the Doctor Ok. Maura shakes her head no and holds on tight to Jane's hand. Jane decides to wake Constance._

_Jane: Constance, Constance_

_Constance: Yes dear?_

_Jane: Maura is awake and was hyperventilating again I managed to get her breathing right again by focusing on my voice she is breathing fine now but she won't let me go. Can you go get the doctor for me?_

_Constance: Yes right away. Constance stops and looks over at Maura smiles and kisses her before leaving the room._

_Jane: Maura, I am so glad you are awake I came as soon as your mother called me. I've been here two weeks now I prayed you would be OK. Tears began to fall from Jane's eyes after realizing that Maura was going to be OK. Jane stands and goes over closer to the bed and looks down at Maura and says Maura I have missed you for so long. I am never going to leave you again I promise you OK. Seeing tears fall from Maura's eyes Jane reaches over and quickly wipes the tears away and tells Maura please don't cry Ok I'm never leaving you again do you hear me. Maura nods her head and Jane kisses her forehead. She notices the sweat coming from her forehand and says Maura I am going to the bathroom and get a cool towel Ok and I'll be right back. Jane gets back and wipes the sweat from Maura's brow. She decides there is no point in waiting so she whispers in Maura's ear finally the words she couldn't say Maura I Love You._

_**Ok I think this was a good point to end this chapter. So Maura is finally awake is everyone excited. Next chapter Maura is going to talk finally and she and Jane get to talk. Don't forget to review.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Word's I Couldn't Say**

**Chapter 8: Maura's Weakness**

**What do I do now that your gone  
No back up plan no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Rizzoli & Isles they belong to the creators nor do I own the lyrics to Word's I Couldn't Say.**

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay classes have started again so keeping me busy. Hope you enjoy.**

Maura's POV

I am sweating so badly. It's so hot in here. I can feel Jane wiping my forehead and as she does I am falling asleep again. I want to stay awake Jane but you keep wiping my forehead making me so sleepy. I can hear you talking to me my Jane but I am so tired. I wish I can just wake up and feel better but my eyes are so heavy. I can hear you talking to me and I want to respond but I can't seem to move my body. I hear you tell me that you love me. I wish I can wake up so I can tell you I love you too but I am so weak what happened to me. Why Am I here? How did you get here? I'm sorry Jane I have to sleep now.

Jane continues to wipe Maura's forehead and realizes that she is asleep again. She silently hopes that she does not sleep very long. She knows that she is still very weak and needs to rest but Jane wants to talk to her so bad and to hear her voice. Jane decides to lay her head down and rest herself knowing she has so much to say when Maura wakes up the next time.

Three hours later

Maura: J….J…Jane

Jane jumps as she hears the small voice and realizing it is coming from Maura. She is now fully awake and smiling down at Maura. Maura tries to smile back.

Jane: Maura you are awake thank GOD she says as she leans down and places a kiss on Maura's forehead. Maura do you want me to get the doctor?

Maura: No please Jane. Help me to sit up some please.

Jane: Sure sweetie. That better?

Maura: Yes much better. Jane I am so tired but I want to talk to you. I have missed you so long Jane. Tears start to fall from her eyes.

Jane: Oh Maura don't cry sweetie I'm here now ok. I just want you to get better so you can get out of here OK. Jane wipes the tears from her eyes and places a small kiss on her cheek.

Maura: Jane I'm sorry.

Jane: For what Maura?

Maura: For leaving you and never telling you how I really feel. I was just so scared that you would walk away I just let listened to my brain not my heart. I wanted to call you but I didn't know what to say.

Jane: Maura, you don't get to do this OK. It's my fault I pushed you away. As I think back now I remember the countless times you tried to tell me how you felt and I dismissed what you where trying to say. Don't blame yourself for my foolish mistake. I have paid for that mistake many times over. I never want to see that look on your face like the one I saw at the airport that day. I have had over two weeks to think about what I was going to say to you when you woke up so please just listen OK.

Maura: I am listening Jane she smiles.

Jane: Maura I love you. I think I have loved you since we first met. I never believe that love at first sight was real until I saw you. I have always been afraid to tell you how I felt because I just was not sure what to do with all these feelings. I mean for one I have never gone out with a women or imaged myself with a women that was until you. It was never about sex or anything I just knew I loved you and that sacred the hell out of me. You broke me down into pieces you knew me better than I knew myself. I was scared of what other people would say about me that I would prove all the rumors to be true. I broke your heart and at the same time I broke mine as well. I let you walk away and all I had to do that day was call out your name and you would have turned around but I didn't. I let you get on that plane and I let ten years go by and I suppose if you had not gotten sick I would have just kept living this life I was living if you want to call it living. I was just existing Maura. I don't want to exist anymore I want to live. I want to live this and the rest of my life with you. I can't imagine my life without you. I have sat at this bedside for weeks praying you would wake up. I don't want to hide from you anymore. Tears that Jane has been holding finally spill and she let's them fall not caring to try to dry them.

Maura: Jane I want that too I don't want to waste anymore time. We have wasted so much. Jane I love you too I have always loved you. I don't want to be alone anymore. Jane will you hold me?

Jane: I thought you would never ask. Wiping her tears she pulls the bed rail down cautious of all the wires and pulls Maura In her lap. Are you Ok?

Maura: Yes I'm better than ever now you are here. I love you Jane

Jane: I love you Maur so much.

Jane holds Maura in her lap for what seems like forever and notices her beauty is asleep again. She does not want to let her go so she pulls the blanket around her and watches her sleep. Jane hears a knock at the door and enters Constance and Dr. Smothers.

Dr. Smothers: Well, it looks like our patient is feeling much better now. Dr. Smother's smiles Jane I think you just might have been the medicine she needed. Tell me how has she been since she woke up.

Jane: When she woke a few hours ago she had a panic attack. Suppose waking up and not realizing where she was. I clamed her down by talking to her until her breathing went back to normal. She used to have them when she was in Boston and I am sure you know it also happens if she tries to lie. She was sweating a lot and I put a cold towel to her forehead and she went back to sleep. In fact she just woke up about an hour ago. As you can see she went back to sleep. Is this normal?

Dr. Smothers: Well Constance and Jane it is going to be the normal for now until her body fully recovers and all the meds from the medically induced coma wears off. This is what is keeping her sleepy. I have her blood work from this morning and it looks so much better than it did when she first was admitted. We are going to keep her on the antibiotics for now. I believe that we can take some of the monitors off now since she is doing so well. I am hoping with the progress she has made that she can be released possible next week.

Jane: Next week wow so at least another ten days in here then. You know what's best I don't want her leaving until I know she is totally OK.

Dr. Smothers: Do you mind lying her down and let me examine her before I leave for the day.

Jane: Sure Constance and I will step out. She lays Maura in the bed and gives her a kiss and walks out with Constance.

Constance: So Jane how did it go.

Jane: It went well really good she has been sleep off and on but the last time she woke up we really got to talk. I told her I love her finally and that I was never leaving her again. She told me she loves me too she was trying to blame herself for leaving and putting the distance between us but I would not let her do that.

Constance pulls her into a hug. I am so glad you talked and she is feeling better. I thought for a bit we were going to lose her. Thank you Jane for coming and saving her life!

Jane: No Constance she saved mine.

Dr. Smothers exits the room.

Dr. Smothers: Well, everything looks good I want to start her out today on a liquid diet and make sure she can tolerate it as well as getting her out of the bed and walking. We are going to remove the catheter and let her go to the restroom on her own. We need to make sure all her organs are functioning properly. Otherwise I believe a full recovery will be made. Maura is awake now. I am leaving for the day so remember you both have my number in case you need me for something. Goodnight ladies.

Constance and Jane bid their goodbyes and thank you's and goes back into Maura's room.

Constance: It is so good to see you awake honey. She goes to the bed and gives Maura a hug and a kiss.

Maura: It's good to see you Mother. Thank you for calling Jane Mother. I can't thank you enough. Tears spilling once again. I can't seem to stop my nasolacrimal duct from over reacting.

Jane: Oh there is my Google mouth. She laughs pulling Maura into a hug.

**. Next chapter will Maura be getting out of the hospital and is she staying in New York or going back to Boston. Love reviews keep them coming.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Words I Couldn't Say**

**What do I do, What do I say  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say**

**Chapter 9: Coming Home**

**Disclaimer: I don't know any of the charters of Rizzoli and Isles wish I did but I don't**

It had a long almost four weeks that Maura had been in the hospital fighting for her life. The last three weeks were the worst for Jane watching Maura suffer but in all get better. Jane finally was able to tell Maura all the words that she felt she would never be able to say to her. Jane only wished that it had not taken Maura to get so ill to finally come out of the shell she had placed herself in for five years and admit the truth she was lost without Maura. Her life consisted of work and goes home nothing more and nothing less. It was now time for Maura to go home finally she was well again. Jane realized that Maura going home they would defiantly have to talk about things and how their lives would be from now on. Jane drives Maura's car to the hospital to pick her up. She says to herself before entering the hospital it's now or never Rizzoli. Jane knocks on Maura's hospital room door and hears a soft come in and enters the room.

Jane: Hi, Maur it's the big day you finally get to bust out of here and go home. Are you excited?

Maura: Oh yes Jane I am really ready to go home and sleep in my bed after an entire month in this old hospital bed. Maura offered up a small sad smile.

Jane: you know honey I think I need to see more of your teeth for a big smile don't you think.

Maura begins to cry and Jane hurries over to her to find out what's wrong.

Jane: Come on baby I know you are not crying because you are getting out of here. What's the matter sweetie?

Maura: J..J..Jane, I am sorry but I just can't seem to get a hold of my emotions these days.

Jane: Its ok baby I understand just tell me what is wrong OK.

Maura: It is just that I have been thinking so much and I am just overwhelmed with my thoughts. I am just so scared Jane.

Jane: what are you scared Maura?

Maura: Of you she says quickly and cries even more.

Jane: Maura scared of me why baby you are confusing me here?

Maura: I am scared that now that I am better now that I am better you are going to leave me again and I don't want to be alone anymore Jane. I missed you so much Jane. I love you Jane. Please don't leave me.

Jane: Maura look at me. Jane puts her hands to Maura's cheeks and runs her fingers over them. Maura I Love You Ok I have never in my life loved anyone as much as I do you. We have been separated for five years due to both of us being foolish and that was too long. I cannot even think of not having you in my life. I know we have things that we have to discuss and things to work out Maura but don't you ever think I am going to leave you out. Whatever I have to do to prove to you that it is not going to happen I will Ok. Now stop crying today is a good day you are going home Ok.

Maura: Through the tears whispers OK Jane.

An hour later Jane, Maura and Constance are on their way to Maura's place as she is finally well enough to go home. The drive proved to be tiring for Maura as she fall asleep on Constance's lap. Constance looks at both of the girls and begins to smile at how happy Maura now is going to be with Jane at her side.

Constance: Jane before we get to the house I want to tell you that I have a bit of a surprise for you. You have to wait until we get there to see what it is. Constance says with a smile.

Finally arriving at Maura's home Jane could not help but wonder what the surprise from Constance. Jane was anxious to get inside and see what it was. Jane gently woke Maura and lifted her out of the car and carried her to the door. Jane was in shock when they came to the door and opened it to see Angela Rizzoli opening the door with a smile.

Jane: Ma Well, this is a surprise.

Angela: Janie how are you. Oh Maura sweetie look at you baby.

Maura: Hi Angela she said with a smile and tears.

Angela: Oh honey come here don't cry. Let me look at you. Oh Maura you are so little honey let Mama Rizzoli fatten you up some.

Constance: Alright girls let's get inside because I believe I smell some of Angela's wonderful cooking.

Jane: Ma I know you have not seen Maura in a long time but I think I need to put her to bed the Doctor still wants her on bed rest for at least another week or so. Let her rest for a few hours then she can come down for dinner.

Angela: OK Janie I was going to suggest the same. Maura come here honey. Maura walks over to Angela and gives her a big huge. Angela whispers to her as she kisses her forehead I always knew you and Janie would find your way back to each other. I have always loved you dear and get some rest ti amo.

Jane leads Maura up the stairs and into her room. Maura is nervous because she has not been home in almost a month and that now she was out of the hospital she knew things were going to change between her and Jane but she felt like she was ready for that change.

Jane: Hey baby you want to get changed and lay down.

Maura: Yes, I am feeling a little dizzy and my stomach hurts a little. Jane will you lay with me until I go to sleep?

Jane: Of course I will just lie down and I'll get your medicine.

Maura lies down in Jane's arms after taking her meds and it does not take her long to fall asleep. Jane gets up before she too falls asleep and goes down to talk to her mom and Constance. Jane hears the loud laughter before she makes it to the end of the steps knowing that most of the loudness is coming from her Ma.

Constance: Hi Jane your mom was telling me a funny story we did not hear you come down come sit with us. How is Maura did she go to sleep?

Jane: Yes she is asleep I was surprised how fast she went to sleep. I guess those are some pretty strong meds she is taking I think she is kind of nervous about being back home. This morning before I had her discharged she just started crying and I asked her why she was crying she said she is afraid I am going to leave her and go back to Boston.

Constance: Well Jane I suppose that is a natural feeling for her. I mean you just got to see a little bit how Maura has become. She was always so sad and crying all the time Jane. She missed you so much it was physically hurting her. Not to put you on the spot Jane but if you leave it is going to destroy her this time.

Angela: Janie I know you and Maura have been through a lot and she needs you now more than ever and I am not going to stand in the way of whatever decision you make honey.

Jane: Well I am glad you said that Ma because I plan to ask Maura to marry me because there is no way I am leaving her ever again and I am not sure if we will leave here or come back to Boston but if she will have me I want to be with her forever. I have seen things over the years and I know how short life can be. We have wasted so much time already you know. I love her so much more than I ever thought I could love someone. I hope you understand I know when I was born this is not how you pictured things to be.

Angela: You listen to me Janie I have never seen you as happy as I did when you were with Maura even just as best friends I knew that you loved her. So I want what most parents want and that is that you are happy.

Constance: Jane I saw a new light in my daughters eyes when she woke from that coma and you were there. The last five years Maura has not lived she just existed and now is time for the both of you girls to live but this time for each other.

With that being said Angela and Constance both said looks like we are going to have to plan a wedding. They got up and took Jane into a bear hug. Jane smiled and said hey you know I have to ask Maura first right?

Jane: Ok I don't want anyone to say anything to Maura OK I want to wait until she feels better I just hope that it will be soon. I am not sure how long I can hold this in. So in the mean time you too have to keep the goofy smiles off your faces and make plans when Maura is not around. I mean you both know what she likes. Also I need to get a ring as well so Constance I think you know Maura taste more than either of us do you think we to start looking tomorrow?

Constance: Oh yes Jane for sure you know how much we Isles love to shop she said with a laugh.

Angela: I will stay with Maura tomorrow so you two can go shop. This will give me some time alone with my other daughter and catch up. I think I am going to go make some homemade soup for her since she does not need anything heavy on her stomach right now.

While Angela went in the kitchen to make a list for the store Jane and Constance talked and discussed just what they would do tomorrow and just how Jane is going to propose. Jane thought to herself just maybe she might get her own happy ending for once. The last five years have been hard on both of them but deep inside she hoped that in the next week all of that will change.

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and remember with these two and Constance and Angela you never know what will happen stay tuned for the next chapter. I love reviews.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Word's I Couldn't Say**

**Chapter 8: Maura's Weakness**

**What do I do now that your gone  
No back up plan no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Rizzoli & Isles they belong to the creators nor do I own the lyrics to Word's I Couldn't Say.**

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay classes have started again so keeping me busy. Hope you enjoy.**

Maura's POV

I am sweating so badly. It's so hot in here. I can feel Jane wiping my forehead and as she does I am falling asleep again. I want to stay awake Jane but you keep wiping my forehead making me so sleepy. I can hear you talking to me my Jane but I am so tired. I wish I can just wake up and feel better but my eyes are so heavy. I can hear you talking to me and I want to respond but I can't seem to move my body. I hear you tell me that you love me. I wish I can wake up so I can tell you I love you too but I am so weak what happened to me. Why Am I here? How did you get here? I'm sorry Jane I have to sleep now.

Jane continues to wipe Maura's forehead and realizes that she is asleep again. She silently hopes that she does not sleep very long. She knows that she is still very weak and needs to rest but Jane wants to talk to her so bad and to hear her voice. Jane decides to lay her head down and rest herself knowing she has so much to say when Maura wakes up the next time.

Three hours later

Maura: J….J…Jane

Jane jumps as she hears the small voice and realizing it is coming from Maura. She is now fully awake and smiling down at Maura. Maura tries to smile back.

Jane: Maura you are awake thank GOD she says as she leans down and places a kiss on Maura's forehead. Maura do you want me to get the doctor?

Maura: No please Jane. Help me to sit up some please.

Jane: Sure sweetie. That better?

Maura: Yes much better. Jane I am so tired but I want to talk to you. I have missed you so long Jane. Tears start to fall from her eyes.

Jane: Oh Maura don't cry sweetie I'm here now ok. I just want you to get better so you can get out of here OK. Jane wipes the tears from her eyes and places a small kiss on her cheek.

Maura: Jane I'm sorry.

Jane: For what Maura?

Maura: For leaving you and never telling you how I really feel. I was just so scared that you would walk away I just let listened to my brain not my heart. I wanted to call you but I didn't know what to say.

Jane: Maura, you don't get to do this OK. It's my fault I pushed you away. As I think back now I remember the countless times you tried to tell me how you felt and I dismissed what you where trying to say. Don't blame yourself for my foolish mistake. I have paid for that mistake many times over. I never want to see that look on your face like the one I saw at the airport that day. I have had over two weeks to think about what I was going to say to you when you woke up so please just listen OK.

Maura: I am listening Jane she smiles.

Jane: Maura I love you. I think I have loved you since we first met. I never believe that love at first sight was real until I saw you. I have always been afraid to tell you how I felt because I just was not sure what to do with all these feelings. I mean for one I have never gone out with a women or imaged myself with a women that was until you. It was never about sex or anything I just knew I loved you and that sacred the hell out of me. You broke me down into pieces you knew me better than I knew myself. I was scared of what other people would say about me that I would prove all the rumors to be true. I broke your heart and at the same time I broke mine as well. I let you walk away and all I had to do that day was call out your name and you would have turned around but I didn't. I let you get on that plane and I let ten years go by and I suppose if you had not gotten sick I would have just kept living this life I was living if you want to call it living. I was just existing Maura. I don't want to exist anymore I want to live. I want to live this and the rest of my life with you. I can't imagine my life without you. I have sat at this bedside for weeks praying you would wake up. I don't want to hide from you anymore. Tears that Jane has been holding finally spill and she let's them fall not caring to try to dry them.

Maura: Jane I want that too I don't want to waste anymore time. We have wasted so much. Jane I love you too I have always loved you. I don't want to be alone anymore. Jane will you hold me?

Jane: I thought you would never ask. Wiping her tears she pulls the bed rail down cautious of all the wires and pulls Maura In her lap. Are you Ok?

Maura: Yes I'm better than ever now you are here. I love you Jane

Jane: I love you Maur so much.

Jane holds Maura in her lap for what seems like forever and notices her beauty is asleep again. She does not want to let her go so she pulls the blanket around her and watches her sleep. Jane hears a knock at the door and enters Constance and Dr. Smothers.

Dr. Smothers: Well, it looks like our patient is feeling much better now. Dr. Smother's smiles Jane I think you just might have been the medicine she needed. Tell me how has she been since she woke up.

Jane: When she woke a few hours ago she had a panic attack. Suppose waking up and not realizing where she was. I clamed her down by talking to her until her breathing went back to normal. She used to have them when she was in Boston and I am sure you know it also happens if she tries to lie. She was sweating a lot and I put a cold towel to her forehead and she went back to sleep. In fact she just woke up about an hour ago. As you can see she went back to sleep. Is this normal?

Dr. Smothers: Well Constance and Jane it is going to be the normal for now until her body fully recovers and all the meds from the medically induced coma wears off. This is what is keeping her sleepy. I have her blood work from this morning and it looks so much better than it did when she first was admitted. We are going to keep her on the antibiotics for now. I believe that we can take some of the monitors off now since she is doing so well. I am hoping with the progress she has made that she can be released possible next week.

Jane: Next week wow so at least another ten days in here then. You know what's best I don't want her leaving until I know she is totally OK.

Dr. Smothers: Do you mind lying her down and let me examine her before I leave for the day.

Jane: Sure Constance and I will step out. She lays Maura in the bed and gives her a kiss and walks out with Constance.

Constance: So Jane how did it go.

Jane: It went well really good she has been sleep off and on but the last time she woke up we really got to talk. I told her I love her finally and that I was never leaving her again. She told me she loves me too she was trying to blame herself for leaving and putting the distance between us but I would not let her do that.

Constance pulls her into a hug. I am so glad you talked and she is feeling better. I thought for a bit we were going to lose her. Thank you Jane for coming and saving her life!

Jane: No Constance she saved mine.

Dr. Smothers exits the room.

Dr. Smothers: Well, everything looks good I want to start her out today on a liquid diet and make sure she can tolerate it as well as getting her out of the bed and walking. We are going to remove the catheter and let her go to the restroom on her own. We need to make sure all her organs are functioning properly. Otherwise I believe a full recovery will be made. Maura is awake now. I am leaving for the day so remember you both have my number in case you need me for something. Goodnight ladies.

Constance and Jane bid their goodbyes and thank you's and goes back into Maura's room.

Constance: It is so good to see you awake honey. She goes to the bed and gives Maura a hug and a kiss.

Maura: It's good to see you Mother. Thank you for calling Jane Mother. I can't thank you enough. Tears spilling once again. I can't seem to stop my nasolacrimal duct from over reacting.

Jane: Oh there is my Google mouth. She laughs pulling Maura into a hug.

**. Next chapter will Maura be getting out of the hospital and is she staying in New York or going back to Boston. Love reviews keep them coming.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Word's I Couldn't Say**

Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles just writing a story about them no copyright infringement intended. Don't own Rascal Flatts song either.

A/N- Sorry guys for such a long delay in the story but I am in school for Forensic Science and it have been quite the challenge my last few classes. Five more to go then September I am done. Hopefully I can get you a couple of updates before classes start next week enjoy. P.S. I love feedback so feed away.

Chapter 11: It's Not Just Me

Once the movie was over Jane continued to watch Maura sleep. Watching Maura's deep even breaths made her smile and fall even more in love with her. Watching her reminded her at the same time just how close she had come to losing her forever. Jane wished that she could take all those years away that they had been separated and silently thanked GOD that even after all this time they could easy fall back into their own comforting routine. Jane knew that Maura was still not completely well yet but she was going to make sure she was here every step of the way to make sure she made a full recovery. Jane sat and watched Maura for the longest time and after realizing she too was tried she decided to rest her eyes just for a moment. Instead Jane fell fast asleep as well.

"Connie just look how sweet the girls look asleep on the sofa. Do you think we should wake them? "

"Angela dear let them sleep this is probably the first time Jane has had any real rest. I know Jane will wake up at some point and see that Maura gets in bed. I think I am going to retire for the night I think Jane and I are going to have a big day of shopping tomorrow Constance said with a beaming smile."

"Connie you think I don't know that smile. You are up to something I know it."

"Angela now you know me better. However truth be told I am looking forward to shopping with Jane I know how Maura used to always want Jane to shop with her and let her buy her new clothes and of course Jane would not hear of it. Since Jane is going to my daughter too I think this will be a perfect opportunity to talk to her about what she plans once Maura is able to travel. So I can see where her head is about moving back to Boston or staying here in New York. Either way I want to be where both of the girls are."

"I have to agree the boys are grown and have their own lives and I always felt like I was there for the boys more than I was Jane because she has always been so strong. I think sometime I forgot that she too has feelings. It's time for me to be a better mother to her. Where ever she and Maura decide to stay I will not stand in the way and I hope they won't mind us around."

"Well we will just have to see I would be happy with either place. Since the divorce from Richard I don't feel the constant need to be on the go all the time. I have in the last five years been able to be the Mother I always should have been to Maura now the possibility of grandkids well let's say it has made me absolutely giddy."

"Connie I knew if you hung around me long enough I could get you to see my point of view laughs Angela. Now I think I am going to head to bed long day tomorrow with Maura and Icatching up. I possible I will keep my mouth shut about the proposal and let her rest."

"Night Angela I'll see you in the morning."

A few hours later Jane and Maura were still sleeping on the sofa when Maura started to wake. Jane felt her moving and woke up quickly thinking something was wrong.

"Maura are you ok?

"Yes I got a little hot and thirsty I was going to get some water but I don't think I can get to the kitchen. I think I should have taken that pain and nausea medicine like the doctor said I should. I think I need to take them now I feel kind of nauseated."

"It's OK honey I'll get for you. All you had to do was wake me up. Jane cupped Maura's face and said remember anything you want I can get it OK. Don't hesitate to ask me. I love you Maura after saying that Jane took a bold step and leaned in and gently kissed Maura on the lips for the first time."

"I love you too Jane and I have waited all my life for that kiss Maura said with a smile."

"I'm sorry I keep you waiting. Now let me get those meds and water ok. She brushed a few stray hairs from Maura's face and planted one more kiss on her lips before retreating to the kitchen."

Once in the kitchen Jane could not stop smiling from her first kiss with Maura. Sure it was just a peck but to Jane just a peck sent fireworks through her body. Jane stopped to think wow what will happen when I really get to put all my love into a kiss I think I might die. After all this time she still has this effect on me. With Jane quickly got Maura's meds and water thinking to herself she was not going to wait not another second to ask Maura to marry her she knew she did not need a ring to ask all she needed to hear was Maura to say yes. Jane quickly retrieved her iPhone and went to the music and knew what song would be perfect to express all that she felt for Maura and then she could finally ask her what she should have years ago.

Jane nervously walked to the den where Maura sat and gave her the pills as she sat down beside her and took her hands. Maura immediately noticed how nervous Jane was and began to worry.

"Jane what's the matter?'

"Nothing Maura really nothing but I need to ask you something but first I need you to listen to this OK." She hit play on the iPod as the words of Rascal Flatts song

**"It's Not Just Me"**

Tell me you've had trouble sleeping  
That you toss and turn from side to side  
That it's my face you've been seeing  
In your dreams at night

Tell me that you wake up crying  
And you're not sure exactly why  
Tell me that something is missing  
In your life, in your life baby

Tell me that you live for love  
That forever is never enough  
That you've waited all your life to see  
That you want so badly to believe  
Tell me that it's not just me

I could have sworn I saw you smile at me  
Standing in the pouring rain  
At a loss for words and running out of time  
I said this crazy thing (crazy thing), I said

Tell me that you live for love  
That forever is never enough  
That you've waited all your life to see  
That you want so badly to believe  
Tell me that it's not just me

Hold me now and tell me that you do believe  
In a soul, a soul mate  
And tell me, and tell me, tell me

Tell me that you live for love  
That forever is never enough  
That you've waited all your life to see  
That you want so badly to believe  
Tell me that it's not just me

As the song ends Jane sees the tears falling from Maura's eyes and she knows that Maura already knows what her question is but Jane knows she still wants to hear it. Jane intertwined her hands with Maura and begins to pour her heart out.

"Maura I love you with everything that I am and every breath that I take from now on is yours forever. There so many nights that I cried myself to sleep over the years since you left and I know you had to leave. I never want you to feel alone and I never want to not lay down with you and wake with you in the morning. I never want to be the reason you cry sad tears only happy ones. Will you spend the rest of your life with me?

I thought this would be a good place to end this chapter and focus next chapter on Maura's answer as well as Jane's shopping day with Constance. What will Maura say? Remember to review.


	12. Chapter 12 Our Beginning

Word's I Couldn't Say

Chapter 12 – Through the Tears

Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles just writing a story about them no copyright infringement intended

Maura I hope those are tears of joy you are crying? Oh Jane of course I would love to be your wife. I have dreamed of this for so long I had given up hope for it to happen to me. I have been so miserable without you. I missed my best friend but most of all I missed my home the place I always felt safe, warm and needed. Maura you know you could have come home anytime you wanted too. No Jane you are my home I missed you so much it hurt to even think about you.

Its ok sweetie you will never have to feel that way again. I am not going anywhere. I want to make sure you get well again and then we are going to start having some fun again like we used too OK? Now let's go get in bed the sofa is nice but you really need to get some sleep. Jane guided Maura up the long staircase and made sure she was settled in bed before going to lay down on her side of the bed.

Maura? Hmmm Maura says in a very sleepy voice. You just made me the happiest woman alive. I Love You so much come here Jane said as she pulled Maura close to her. Maura moved into Jane's arms and laid her head on her chest. I love you too Jane so much. Jane turned to face Maura and cupped her face and kissed her gently on the lips. They stared in each others eyes for a while when it was Jane to finally break the trance they were in. Sweetie are you still sleepy? Not really Jane just still very tired. I will be so glad when I can regain my strength. I know but you have to remember this is just your first night home and that I am sure is a bit overwhelming. You are not going to be 100% for a while still so you have to get your sleep OK. The next few weeks I imagine are going to be pretty crazy with both our moms here now.

So Maur when would you like to get married? Well how about Valentine's Day it will be easy to get everyone together now. I always wanted to get married at Martha's Vineyard and it still so pretty this time of year. I now that what I thought you would say. Remember when we laid on my mattress that Frankie and Barry never brought all the way into my bedroom and we talked about our dream wedding. I'll never forget that day I always wished it would be me at the end of the isle waiting for you. OH Jane you remembered. Are you sure you want to give up your dream of a wedding in Fenway Park. No way Maura I believe I still have my dream I have you and nothing else matters.

Let's get some sleep sweetie we both have a big day ahead of us. Ma will be talking your head off and Constance making me shop till I drop. Yes Jane Mother will probably wear you out tomorrow she is worse than I am about shopping. Maura I can only imagine. Maur before you dose off what kind of ring do you want. Jane you know me it does not have to be expensive just know it came from you is all I really want. I know Maur but money is not a problem you know all those investing tips you gave me I really did listen to you so I have like more money than I know what to do with. I like knowing that we don't have to just use your money or depend on my salary at BPD but I can take care of you and get you anything you want or need OK. I know you never know how to ask for anything but remember anything you want I can get it. I know you worked hard on becoming a Doctor so if you want to go back to work that is fine with me. I know I have put a lot of ideas in that big brain of yours now so stop over thinking everything and go to sleep baby. I know you are tired still. Jane ran circles to Maura's back until she noticed that her breathing had evened out and she was in fact asleep. Jane took in a deep breath and silently thanked GOD for Maura and closed her eyes and went to sleep.

The next morning Jane woke to the wonderful smell of her two most favorite things coffee and bacon. She stretched and realized that Maura was not in bed and that her side of the bed was cold. Jane assumed that she was feeling better getting up early to ready for the day. This is when she heard the shower running and knew she must be in the shower. Jane knocked on the door before opening it. Maura I'm coming in OK, all she heard was a mmhmm the sight before her broke her heart as Maura was on the shower floor crying. Maura honey what's wrong as she went in the shower to help Maura stand up. I I I was going to take a shower and get dressed but I started to feel nauseated and I could not get up. I'm sorry Jane I am such a mess. Jane reached out to pull the smaller woman into her arms. Baby you are not as mess you almost died, I almost lost you OK and it's OK that you are still not feeling well. You only got out of the hospital yesterday you still have to take it easy Ok.

Come on let's get you back in the shower Ok I will wash you up and wash your hair and then maybe you can help me with this rat's nest in my head . Maura laughed and said you know Jane it is not possible to have a rat's nest in your hair. There is my Google mouth let me get out of my clothes and get some warm water going ok. Maura got back in the shower and said Jane you know we will be naked right. Yes Maura it is not like we have not seen each other without clothes plus in a couple of months we are going to be married its ok. We are not going to do anything OK we are going to wait until the wedding night I know you are nervous but if you don't want me to shower you that's ok. No No its Ok Jane you are right we have seen each other naked before I'm sorry. Honey that's one thing you have to stop apologizing all the time. Jane showered Maura and washed her hair and Jane did the same to herself as they got out of the shower they could hear Angela and Constance coming up the stairs. They quickly put on robes as to not have to explain their current state of undress.

Angela actually knocked on the door which came as a surprise to Jane normally she just burst through the door. Constance and Angela both entered the room. Good morning girls we have breakfast ready we just wanted to check on you both. We are fine Mother I was just a little dizzy and nauseated this morning I thought I could stand long enough to take my shower but I couldn't so Jane helped me. Yes I found her on the shower floor crying I keep telling her she does not need to be afraid to ask for help. Jane I believe that is her Father and I's fault Maura never asked for anything from us except to attend that boarding school I am afraid that we are the cause of this. Its OK Mother Jane helped me.

OK girls big day ahead of you Jane you better get dressed and go eat we are leaving in a hour and a half. My goodness how long have you two been up. Jane laughed Oh my GOD you two have already been making wedding plans. Angela and Constance both look at each other and laugh and say OK you caught us. OK girls we will leave you to dress we will see you downstairs. Jane looked at Maura and had to laugh at their Mothers. Jane I don't feel much like going downstairs right now could you get my bra, panties, and something comfortable to wear. Sure baby but only after I get my morning kiss. With this Maura suddenly perked up and smiled the biggest smile that only Jane was blessed to see. Jane loved nothing more than to look into those beautiful hazel green eyes of Maura's but she knew she need to get herself dressed. She pulled Maura to her and said I don't believe I have gotten a proper good morning kiss from you Maura. Oh sorry I. Jane takes that moment to pull Maura into her arms and begin to kiss her softly as they deepened the kiss for the first time not stopping until the both needed to come up for air. Jane breaks the silence by saying please stop apologizing all the time Maura you have nothing to be sorry for. Maura looks at her with the biggest smile and says I feel better already.

Jane goes into the closet and picks out her clothes for the day and decides to put on a little makeup and actually do something with her wild mess of hair. Coming out of the bathroom drying her hair she says I have to start using this shampoo and conditioner Maura it sure make a difference in how my hair turns out. Wow Jane you have makeup on and you straightened your hair you look so pretty. So do you Maura why are you not dressed yet. Oh sorry after that shower I feel a little sleepy she said with a small smile. Its ok baby the DR said this is normal. How about I go eat with our Mother's and before we go I'll bring you up some breakfast Ok. OK Jane Maura says trying to hide the yawn. Jane walks over and moves the hair out of Maura's face and gives her a quick kiss and says I'll be downstairs if you need me OK. OK Jane I'm just going to rest a bit.

Jane makes her way downstairs to the kitchen and greets the Mothers again. Good Morning again. Good Morning dear both women looking around where is Maura? Ah after her shower she is feeling a bit sleepy so I told her to just lay down and get some rest before we leave I'll bring her a light breakfast. Ok then let's eat shall we said Constance. The ladies sit and eat and chat over breakfast of course mostly talk about the wedding and to her surprise both mother's talking about babies. Jane says Oh goodness Mama Isles Ma has got you going with the babies now too. Well Jane you and Maura are not getting any younger you might want to consider not waiting to have kids you know. Yes I know but we are not married yet and I want Maura to totally heal first and we will talk about kids at some point. I'm going to fix Maura something light and some tea and Mama Isles I will be ready to go when you are.

Jane climbs the steps with Maura's breakfast and pecks in the door and see's that Maura has gotten dressed but is resting on top of the covers. Jane places the food tray down and rubs circles on Maura's back to gently wake her. Baby I brought you some breakfast. Maura still sleepy wakes with a smile oh Jane thanks I was getting hungry. No need for thanks try to eat as much as your stomach can take and here are you meds ok. Ma knows that you are not feeling too well so if you want to stay in bed for a while please do I want you to get better so we can start getting out of the house and making plans OK but I don't want to rush your healing. I know Jane I want that too. I'll miss you today. I'll miss you too sweetie. I am sure we will be gone most of the day but let's plan something for dinner OK anything you want just let me know I'll have my cell on OK. Maura stood up from the bed and on her tip toes due to the significant height difference gave Jane a kiss. I love you Jane. I love you too Maur I'll see you after a while ok get some rest baby. I will see you later.

Jane comes down the stairs listening to the two Mothers laughing. She wonders how did she got so lucky that even after the five years that have passed Maura still loves her. She enters the kitchen area and says OK are you ready to go? Oh yes dear let get this shopping extravaganza on the way. Jane says to herself oh boy what have I gotten myself into.


End file.
